New Blog Address

I am closing down this blog address soon and will be using shutterly for pictures of Brooklyn and journal entries for updates about Brookly. The address is http://bondurantfamily.shutterfly.com/ If you want the password email me at chalbond@gmail.com

Also, I am starting my own personal (non-family non-Brooklyn) website for parenting and natural living issues. I won’t post pictures and I will try really hard not to use Brooklyn’s name. I am just trying to keep her more protected on the internet.

My blog address is http://memphismisfitmama.blogspot.com/

It is still a work in progress but take a look at let me know what you think.

A Day in the Life… then and now

I thought it would be fun to share what our typical day looks like now compared to when Brooklyn was a newborn, if I can remember back that far.

She is going to be 10 months on Monday. I can’t believe it.

NOW

She usually wakes up sometime between 7 and 8. I don’t believe in waking her up unless we have somewhere to be. If she’s sleeping, she sleeps as long as she wants.  When she wakes up she nurses and then we change her diaper and play! She loves her blocks right now and she loves to read. We usually read some books before breakfast time. After about 30 minutes or so we eat breakfast. She usually eats Purely O’s (organic oat cereal like cheerios) and maybe some banana or grapes. I need to get more creative with breakfast food.

After breakfast we play a little and she usually goes in her exersaucer while I shower and dry my hair (in a small house these noises can wake her during naptime so I try to do it when she is awake). We then read a few books before morning nap which is usually sometime between 9:30 and 10. I nurse her until she decides she has had enough and then rock her for a few minutes and lay her down. She sucks her thumb and soothes herself to sleep. She usually sleeps for about 1-1.5 hours.

So, then she usually wakes up around 11ish or so and we do the same thing. I nurse her when she wakes up. We play for a little while, or this is usually when I schedule play dates with friends or when we run errands or walk the dogs (while I wear her).  After about an hour she eats lunch. She loves baked sweet potatoes and only likes everything else so I usually give her sweet potatoes. She also likes turkey and baked apple but we are still working on finding other things she loves. So far she is not a fan of green things. She usually eats for about 30 minutes, sometimes longer and sometimes shorter. She feeds herself so she controls the pace so it varies from day to day. After lunch it is more play time and reading books. Some days I wear her while I clean the house during this time or morning awake time. Around 2 or so it is time for another nap. I nurse her to drowsy and rock her a bit, then it is thumb and sleep time. Once again, she usually naps for about 1-1.5 hours and then its wake up time.

She usually wakes up around 3:30 or 4 just depending on the schedule that day.I nurse her again. By this time DADDY IS HOME! Yay! (the great thing about a 6-3 schedule). They play together while I cook dinner. Some evenings we will go on a walk together if it is warm enough or spend time outside while daddy prepares the garden for spring. Some nights we have people over or go have dinner with his parents or hang out with our international student friends. But most of the time we just hang out here. She usually eats dinner around 5:30 or 6 so we eat dinner early now too. After dinner they play together while I clean up and then we usually get some time to play together all 3 of us, which I love. Bathtime is usually around 7ish or so, and daddy does bathtime. (he pretty much always has since about 3 months) I clean up toys and then after bath we get her lotioned up and dressed together. He always puts her in her sleep sack and tells her good night before handing her off to me. She nurses and I sing to her and then rock her for a little bit before laying her down for night night. She usually sleeps on her side just like me. She is usually asleep by 8 or earlier and then sleeps until 7 or 8 and it all starts again. Things are pretty predictable right now, but I know that could change soon. (if she decides to drop her morning nap)

So that is now….what about then….?

THEN

Well, most of you reading this probably remember that Brooklyn was a very difficult newborn. She had acid reflux and food sensitivities, and I think she just needed some extra time to feel “right” in this new world. Take heart, new parents of  a difficult newborn, it gets easier!

Brooklyn “usually” woke up around 7 we will say. Each day was different. We had no schedule. She ate when she was hungry and then sometimes she slept when she was tired and sometimes she cried for what seemed like hours. But on a somewhat good day we will say… she would nurse when she woke up. And at this point she was still sleeping in our room. She slept in our room until about 6 months. So when she woke up I would wake up and nurse her. Then we would go on a walk not too long after she woke up because it would be too hot the rest of the day. When she was really little we would use the Moby and then we used the Ergo when she got to be about 14lbs. She was always happy while being worn so I wore her a lot. We would walk the dogs and then come home. Usually she would sleep a little bit on the walk. We nursed a lot when she was a newborn. I don’t believe in putting a newborn on a feeding schedule, especially when breastfeeding. We eat when we are hungry no matter the time and I think they should too. So Brooklyn ate often and not on any set schedule so we didn’t really have much of a typical “day in the life” then did we? Well, she would usually only be able to stay awake and happy for an hour or an hour and a half as a two month old.  But getting her to sleep was the tricky part. Most of the time when she was really young and would sleep through anything I wore her for at least one of her naps. So let’s day on this day I wore her for her morning nap around 8:30 and then I tidied up around the house and then sat and read. She slept so great in the Moby. She would usually sleep for about 2 hours in the morning on a “good day”. Then I would always try to nurse her when she woke up. Most days her “play time” at this age consisted of her sitting in her swing while I would read to her or sing to her or just setting her in my lap while I would talk to her or practice vowel sounds with her. But a lot of the time I was wearing her while she was awake and walking around the house or bouncing her and “shhhing” her to keep her happy. If not doing these things she would usually be crying her head off which I am not a fan of so I tried to keep her as calm and content as possible. Since she napped in the Moby this “typical” morning I would try to get her to nap in her bassinet for the lunch time nap around 12 or 12:30. I would try to nurse her to sleep. If after nursing she was still awake, I would bounce her and “shhhh” her (while swaddled) until she was asleep then try to very carefully lay her down. She would usually take about a 2-3 hour nap around this time of the day for months and it was great! Some days her acid reflux would abruptly wake her up but on a “good” day she would take a great nap!

When she woke up from this nap daddy would be home! Yes! I so looked forward to Ben getting home every day. I would nurse her when she woke up and then Ben and I would take turns holding her. playing with her, bouncing her, wearing her…for pretty much the rest of the night. Afternoon and evening time was the worst. She hardly ever took good nap in the afternoons and was awake and fussy most of the evening. It was really hard and only God’s grace got us through. I would nurse her a lot and Ben would usually make dinner while she took cat naps in the Moby or while I bounced her and kept her calm. We would usually go on a walk after dinner, sometimes before, and Brooklyn would usually sleep the whole time and sometimes stay sleeping when we got home for a good while.

When she woke up we just tried to keep her happy and content (love happiest baby on the block for tips on this btw) until bathtime. When she would get fussy and we couldn’t think of anything else it was bath time. At this age I usually bathed with her and nursed her in the tub and stayed in there as long as she was happy. After she got out of the bath tub she was usually fussy so we would try to lotion, dress, and swaddle her very quickly and then I would nurse her, bounce her, nurse her, bounce her, nurse her to sleep. At night time I knew she would always eventually nurse to sleep at this age so that was great. Usually by 9:30ish she was asleep for a while. Around this age she would usually wake up between 2-4 times to nurse but most always go right back to sleep, and then wake up around 7am and start the day all over again. Sounds exhausting just typing about it. God got us through the first few very difficult months. And all the love and attention didn’t spoil Brooklyn at all and I am so glad we worked so hard to keep her happy and content and didn’t let her cry herself to sleep. There is nothing sweeter than soothing your newborn to sleep. Even though it was hard I wouldn’t trade those precious moments for anything.

And now she is on a great schedule (although I still would nurse her whenever she wanted even if its not our typical schedule) that she figured out herself (I’ve always watched her cues and let her set her own schedule for the most part) and she is a delightful and fairly easy baby. She sure has come a long way! And so have Ben and I. All by God’s grace!

There is no such thing as a “bad” baby

I met with a friend yesterday that I dearly love. Her and I both had babies that are very difficult and have higher needs than most babies. They also have fun personalities and are strong-willed, which I think are great qualities in adults. We used to have playdates where we would each wear our babies in our Moby wraps and bounce or walk to keep our babies calm so that we could then talk. Our babies didn’t sleep through the night at week 8 (which I think is unrealistic for any baby) and they fussed a whole lot more than the average baby. So does this make them “bad” babies? Of course no one would actually say this but they may think it. Or, they may say it by implying that the opposite characteristics make a “good” baby.

People describe their baby as “good” if they sleep through the night at a young age and are generally happy and content and don’t cry. They are low maintenance and don’t require much extra attention. If a new mom describes her baby as the above other moms will say to her that she has such a “good” baby, and sometimes also say or imply that she is a “good” mom. (like she created this baby’s personality or temperament or something)

Well, I would like to say that there is no “bad” or “good” baby. Yes, some babies tend to be more “easy” or more “difficult”. Some seem to be more “content and happy” and some seem to be more “fussy”, but this does not make them “good” or “bad”. I struggled with this idea for a long time when I first had a baby that qualified as a high needs baby. For some reason, God in His infinite wisdom saw it fit to give me a baby that was a little more difficult than most and much more fussy than most (oh, and throw in acid reflux and sensitive stomach to the mix too) but she was a “good” baby. God doesn’t make “bad” babies. Yes, we are all born sinful and depraved…I get that. But I truly believe a baby’s cry doesn’t equal sin, especially in those first few months. Crying is simply a form of communication and some babies just need to communicate a lot more to get their needs met and to feel “right”. If you couldn’t speak, how would you communicate that you had a need you needed to be met?  Anyway, I digress, I really struggled with comparing Brooklyn to other “easier” babies that people would say were such “good” babies. I wondered why God didn’t give me an easy baby or what I was doing wrong. But now looking back, I am so thankful that God didn’t give me an “easy” baby. Having a difficult baby made me depend on God’s grace so much more than I would have otherwise. Also, Brooklyn drove me to search out other parenting styles than the mainstream styles I had been told about in most Christian circles. Having a baby like Brooklyn drove me to a more attached parenting style and I am so grateful for that. Having Brooklyn drove me to a new and different way of being wise about babies. I am very grateful that Brooklyn was usually only happy while being worn or being nursed. This made our bond so strong it is unbelievable. If Brooklyn were an “easy” baby I may have thought I was doing things to make her “easy” and taken credit myself.

So, be encouraged dear Mama of a “difficult” high needs baby. And consider bumping up your attachment parenting a notch. These babies just may have more of a need to be close to mama to feel right.  For a look into what attachment parenting is check out this… http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130100.asp

And Mama of the “easy” baby please be sensitive in how you talk to a mom of a more difficult baby and please be very careful when you use words like “good” and “bad”. Many of those “bad” babies with very strong personalities will probably grow up to be the leaders of the next generation….just sayin’.

These Are A Few of my Favorite Things…

About Being a Mom…

1. Breastfeeding. In my book, nothing beats this and it makes me sad for the mommies and babies who choose not to or for whatever reason don’t get to experience this. There is nothing more bonding than watching your sweet baby drink from your breast. And those milky grins…nothing can beat that. And to know that it is best for her and so beneficial for me is a major plus!

2. Babywearing. I started wearing Brooklyn when she was about 7 weeks old but would have sooner if I had the Moby Wrap right away. I got the Moby when she was 7 weeks and quickly ordered another so I could have one on while washing the other. She lived in the Moby for several months and then we switched to the Ergo, which I prefer for bigger babies and long walks. I love having her close to me and have her look at me and make noises while we are walking about. It also makes it easy to walk both dogs. We have maybe used a stroller 5 or 6 times.

3. Watching her with her daddy. There is nothing sweeter than watching a daddy with his little girl. I just love it! Ben is such a sweet daddy and so goofy when he is playing with Brooklyn. He plays with her in a totally different way than I do and I love it. He has pretty much always done bath time and I love hearing them play while she is taking a bath. She has no idea how blessed she is to have such a sweet daddy!

4. Making her laugh. She is so silly. Sometimes the most random words or noises will make her laugh. Sometimes just saying “yep, yep, yep” cracks her up. She really laughs at peekaboo and lately she loves the hiccup noise. So cute!

5. Reading books to her. Brooklyn has always loved books from the time she was itty bitty. They were one thing that would calm her down when she was fussy. About a month ago she started turning the pages really well on her own while I was reading to her and I love watching her do that. She will sit and read books for a really long time if she is tired and I love reading to her. I love reading and I hope she loves it too as she gets older!

6. Playdates. I am blessed to be able to stay home and get to schedule playdates with other mommies. It is so encouraging to get to hang out with other moms who have babies, especially those around the same age. I know it is great for Brooklyn too, but I have to say that I especially enjoy it!

7. Naptimes. I miss her while she is napping but I am a pretty big stickler about nap schedules. While she is napping I get to put on makeup, cook, clean, and my very favorite…spend time with Jesus. It is a much needed time for sure and I cherish whatever time I get. Some days it is 20 minutes, some days it is longer, but I do not take that bit of quiet time I get for granted.

My favorite number is 7 so I will stop there. There are a lot of other things I enjoy about being a mom, but that is a pretty good list.

What are your favorite things about being a mom to a baby?

Before I begin blogging…a disclaimer

Brooklyn is now 9 months old and I haven’t blogged since she was born. Mostly it is because I keep a journal to her with my personal thoughts for her. I love writing, like actually writing with a pen and paper and I thought this would mean the most to her when she receives it one day.

So I probably won’t blog tons of personal details about my thoughts towards Brooklyn because I want to save this for her journal. But, I do have other things I have thought about blogging about, but have been a little hesitant.

Okay, this may come as no surprise to many, but I have lots of “issues” I am passionate about. I try to be an activist for lots of platforms and social issues, as well as mommy topics that I am passionate about. And I am also pretty opinionated. So I have been hesitant about blogging because I don’t want to offend anyone. But, be forewarned, try as I might not to offend you, you will probably be offended at some point if you regularly read my blog. So I apologize in advance.

I believe the things I do because I believe they are right, otherwise I wouldn’t believe them. And I am passionate about my beliefs. And I am in the minority about most of my beliefs. First of all, I am a follower of Jesus and He is the “issue” I am most passionate about. I want to know Him and make Him known. I want others who know Him to be passionate about making Him known and I get frustrated with other followers who are not passionate about this. I am trying to grow in giving grace to these other followers of Jesus, but I think the bible is pretty clear that we are to share our faith and make disciples and this should be a natural overflow from knowing Him.

Since I have become a mom I have become very passionate about things I never knew existed. I never knew about Attachment Parenting before I was pregnant but now I am very passionate about it. Although I would consider myself a modified AP, it is the parenting philosophy and category I most fit into. I am very passionate about breastfeeding and babywearing and responding lovingly to the needs of your baby. Also, since becoming a mom I have been very concerned about the food I eat and feed my child. So I have recently begun diving into the world of organic foods. I am still very new to this, but very much interested in learning more and applying what I learn. I have recently learned about the dangers of household cleaners and cosmetics and have become very passionate about this also. I am in the process of switching all of our cosmetics over to more green, safe, non-toxic alternatives. And since I have been pregnant I have been using completely safe, non-toxic, green cleaning supplies from Better Life.

So if you follow my blog you will read a little bit about Brooklyn and a lot about my “issues” that I am passionate about, and I am sure other random things that I come across and find interesting. And who knows, I may find other “issues” along the way that end up getting more of my attention.

Who am I? First, I am a follower of Jesus. Then, I am a wife and mom. So most of all my blogging will deal with these roles that I cherish and love. And you probably won’t agree with all of my beliefs or “issues” and that is okay. My very best friend and I are VERY different in our parenting styles and we just agree to disagree. Although I still think I’m right and she’s wrong. haha

I try really hard to be open-minded to what others believe but I am not very good at it. Just being honest here.  I pray that I will continue to grow in grace and extend more freedom to others for their beliefs and philosophies, but hey…I believe what I believe because I think it is right. Don’t we all?

So anyway, that is my disclaimer. And if you can’t tell…I am very long winded. (Another reason I have put off blogging)

So read away, and even subscribe to my blog if you want.

But consider yourself warned.

A Poem for a friend

I am writing this poem for a friend of mine who recently lost a baby, and I am writing it from their point of view. I hope it ministers to them.

 

To Your Arms From Ours

Oh Lord, we don’t know your ways and we don’t understand

But we trust You in all of this that You have a great plan

You are Sovereign, Loving, Wise, Good, Perfect, Powerful, and True

Even when we can’t wrap our mind around Your ways, we know we can trust You

You formed him in my womb, he was fearfully and wonderfully made

He was created and woven together by You, help us not be swayed

Amidst the tears and heartache please help us to stand firm

Help us to trust Your plans, and for You to constantly yearn

Lord, we will never get to hear his first words or see him smile

But help us to remember that this life is only for a little while

We won’t see him run and play or throw a football

But You’ll watch him as he runs the streets of gold and grows up nice and tall

We won’t get to hold him and rock him and kiss his sweet face

But he’s forever embraced by You in heaven, and there is no better place

Lord, through our tears and our broken hearts we choose to praise You

And we look forward to seeing our little angel when this life is through

We thank you for the time you gave us with William Thomas

And we thank you for providing us with comfort, love, and Your promises

Lord, we know he was always Yours, and we thank You for that precious hour

When we could love him and hold him in a sweet embrace, as he peacefully went to Your arms from ours

 

In loving memory of William Thomas Rainer

written with love by Chalise Bondurant

Baby Brooklyn is here

We are delighted to announce that Baby Brooklyn Elyse has made her arrival into the world. She was born Friday morning at 12:11 am, weighing 6lbs 13oz and 20 inches long. It was a great home birth, with the labor and delivery in the birth tub. Brooklyn came out very calm and alert, staring intently into my eyes. Ben was a fantastic coach for me and it was such a sweet time for our relationship. We are so in love with Brooklyn and so thankful for our Creator blessing us with this sweet girl. We are so thankful for this precious blessing from God.

We have had lots of family in town to meet Baby Brooklyn. My mom, Ben’s mom, and my brother Jordan were here to see the birth and shortly after my aunt Dawn, and Peach grandparents arrived to meet Brooklyn.  We had a birthday party for her Friday night with Ben’s family and my family that was in town. My mom has been so helpful and I couldn’t be making it without her. Ben has been such a wonderful daddy already!!! I love seeing him with Brooklyn.

Overall, things are great! She is eating, sleeping, pooping, and peeing…all the things a newborn do. She is just beautiful and we are so in love with her.

When you’re done nesting, how do you pass the time?

I can’t think of any more “nesting” projects to do…my mother-in-law and husband have helped tons in getting the house ready and clean. I am just trying to stay on top of laundry and minor cleaning so that when the baby comes I don’t have to worry too much about that.

I have my playlists ready for labor, as well as some scripture verses from the Bible for Ben to read to me. I am looking forward to listening to praise and worship during labor and trying to stay focused on Christ during labor.

So now, I am ready and just waiting and trying to be patient, but that is really hard when you are waiting for a baby! So I am trying to enjoy all the sleep I can get and to read books all about baby stuff. Right now I’m reading about breastfeeding, vaccines, and parenting methods.

WE CAN’T WAIT TO MEET THIS BABY! I am 39 weeks and 1 day!!!

Soooo ready for the baby

I remember when I was first pregnant and into my second trimester telling people that I hoped the baby would come a little late so my mom would be out of school, well goodness, I was crazy. A few weeks really does matter at this point. Lately I am so exhausted, and last night I had a nasty battle with acid reflux and I think it won. If I’m not going to sleep anyway, I’d rather have a sweet baby to show for it.

But really I can’t complain. I have had a great and relatively easy pregnancy thus far, and I know all of this is normal and part of the rite of passage that every mother experiences. But physically, I am ready.

Emotionally I am ready as well. I can’t wait to meet the baby and find out what it is and decide on a name. I can’t wait to give Ben a baby and see what a wonderful daddy he is! I am also really looking forward to the birth experience. Yesterday I watched a great documentary called “Orgasmic Birth” about experiencing the pleasure of childbirth. It was great. A long time ago I watched “The Business of Being Born” and that is awesome as well, about natural childbirth. I look forward to trust the God who created me and my body to birth babies, and experiencing it to the full, using the God-given pain coping mechanisms He has given all women. I can’t wait to experience labor and share my story. I am praying everything goes well and no unexpected complications arise, because I am soooo looking forward to natural childbirth. We got the birth tub set up last night and it just looks so ready to be used!

The nursery is basically done besides various wall hangings and things for the shelves, but that will come along. Still need to decide between a glider, recliner, or rocking chair for in there. I have nested as much as energy has allowed. Hopefully I will have a burst of energy in these next few days sometime. I haven’t gotten around to Spring cleaning as of yet, and I would like to do that. The cloth diapers should be arriving any day now so the little baby bottom will be covered. I can’t wait!!!

Any day now we will be welcoming Baby Bondurant into the world!!! Yay!!!

A Good Friday Indeed…

This week I have been reading through the different accounts in the gospels of the triumphal entry through the resurrection and I am so humbled and amazed by the love of God and the sacrifice of Christ.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Thank you for good Friday, thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me to absorb the wrath of God so I didn’t have to. You took my punishment so I could go free. You became sin for me so I could have your righteousness. What an amazing gift of love!

Thank you Jesus that because of your blood I can be cleansed and have all my guilty stains washed away!!! Thank you Jesus!